STOP MAKING UNTALENTED PEOPLE, FAMOUS!
I CAME UP with NEW STRATEGIES on how to make things better for myself at the AGE of 20. No more playing around. Teenage days are OVER! These are the ten strategies I plan to do before I turn 21:
1. The first thing I am going to do is to FIND ANOTHER JOB where it is suitable and stable for me to be in. Though, I work for a modeling agency, it is not a STABLE JOB for me to maintain the ‘fashion’ and/or ‘college’ lifestyle that I am looking for.
2. The second thing is to STAY FOCUS IN SCHOOL. Even though, I am in college right now, I don’t think I am as focus as people think I am, considering that I have been going through some personal issues in the last few months, though I maintain a 3.4 GPA Average.
3. The third thing is to BOOST UP MY LEADERSHIP with my company. I figured that it’s time for the company to stop taking baby steps. Its been 2 years and I have yet to accomplish a certain goal with the company. HOPEFULLY, IT COMES TRUE BY NEXT YEAR!
4. The fourth thing is EXCLUDE certain things that I do in my social life, for example, clubbing will not be something I am willing to get into. It’s fun and all, but it can be a bit of a distraction.
5. The fifth thing is to work on my SHORT TERM GOALS. In order to do that, I must start at “the first thing” I just I mention. Most things these days require MONEY & FUNDING, in other words, some of my short term goals require money to proceed.
6. The sixth thing is to work on my LONG TERM GOALS. I hope and pray to be out of Atlanta by the age of 21 or 22. (however, things may work out). I am also willing to get another degree after getting my Fashion Merchandising degree from Bauder College and succeed to better things in my career.
7. The seventh thing is to ELIMINATE UNNECESSARY THINGS (or people) that aren’t going to help me in my extended lifetime. Negativity is not the way to go. A lot has happen to the people around me lately and I don’t want any of their “bad luck” or “negativity” rub off on me.
8. The eighth thing is to START EXPLORING NEW OPTIONS in my life. I want to work on things that I always wanted to work on that I never succeeded in. I AM AN ALL-AROUND ARTIST. And I want to be able to travel for the most part.
9. The ninth thing is to work on my BODY, HEALTH, SPIRITUALITY, and ENVIRONMENT. A healthy mind and soul comes a healthy heart. I already do meditation, yoga, go to church, and I am currently on a WATER & LOW SUGAR DRINKING DIET, but I also want to go to the gym, go biking, eat healthier, because I am not getting any younger.
10. The tenth and final thing is to FIND LOVE (or let love find me). I already have my heart for someone, but I don’t know the answer to my love future, just yet. YES, I AM SINGLE, but I am not the person to mingle or date around (because I don’t have time for that). I am a lover boy and I am the type to settle down. If not, I continue to move forward until the right person comes into my life.
If I work on these ten things during the time of me being 20 years old, by the time I am 21, I should be moving on to bigger and better adolescent things.
It’s been awhile since I’ve express myself on this blog but I am right now suffering to something that I cannot express to the person that I shall be addressing this to. I woke up around 4 o’clock this morning thinking about this and in order to express how I feel I must write this blog about you. Let it be known that we are human and we all suffer through pain and love but sometimes I don’t know how to explain how we feel and don’t use the right resources to express how we feel. So, I will be expressing all of my feelings out on this one blog.
I remember the first time I ever got a likable reaction towards you. I remember posting a picture on Instagram and seen you react to the picture. I thought at the time he was just some random boy that had a crush on me or at least was just trying to like me and I never got that about you however, it was amazing attention that. In my mind at the time, I never in a million years thought we were ever cross on talking or dating each other but I knew that something was going to happen to the both of us, eventually.
The first 2 to 3 months (between January and April) was months that I will never forget. I remember when I went to New York to showcase my wardrobe collection and being stuck in the hotel room, all alone in the middle of Manhattan, you was on the phone with me as I sat on those white sheets on the bed, looking out of that 33rd floor while looking at my laptop. I remember there were times I couldn’t wait to come home from class (most of time, when my phone wasn’t on) to talk to you through the house phone or through Facebook/Twitter and messaage you all day long. I remember those rainy nights and cold nights that I was on the phone with yoy talking about whatever that comes into mind (one time, being that we were on the phone until 4 in the morning). In my eyes at the time, you were a potential guy, but it wasn’t until I start writing poetry and memoirs about you that I realize how much I cared about you. If you was in pain, I tried my best to cheer you up. If you was happy and rejoicing, I was doing the exact same thing because I cared and still do till this day. It was like you was part of the lovable spirituality of my heart and once I got used to that feeling, caring for you became a regular, everyday thing for me. I would dream about you at certain nights, thinking that one day we will love eye-to-eye.
It wasn’t until mid May when I realize that I was starting to fall for you. I remember telling myself “Wow! I like him so much. I wanna move things to the next level, like dating him and going on outings.” But, before I could make that move, you message me with heartbreaking notions that made my mind and heart crushed into tiny pieces of glass. However, I was happy to know that you still wanted to be part of my life, as a friend, but somehow I didn’t take it quite well, afterwards, though I appreciated to purified attentions of our friendships.
After a week of the incident, we was stressed and needed some time to yourself, so as a friend, I respected your wishes and didn’t attempt to call nor message you for two 1/2 weeks, even though I was dying to want to talk to you. I came across an evil feeling without even noticing when the opportunity was presented to me. I wanted to make you jealous by me talking to another guy, but I was blinded by the fakeness of the other guys’ “actable” feelings, that I was too stupid to see it coming. Karma was truly a bitch to me at the time. Turn out, who knew I would jealous of a guy that you was talking to. It irritated me to my heart to see you will a guy. I knew we were friends, but in my mind, I kept telling myself “What does this guy has that I can’t bring to the table?” Your tweets, pictures, and facebook statuses about him would irritate the shit out of me. It was l like I was all heart broken once again. I then out of stupidity, blame myself for not stepping it up as a man for you. But, I still respected your wishes, because I still cared for you. But, it wasn’t until we both got hurt that I suddenly realized something.
What I about to say may be the most deepest thoughts I ever had about you. You had someone that truly cared about you and you ended up talking to another guy when at the end of the day, he hurted you and let you to become haunted by your past. I WILL NEVER HURT YOU. I understand you. I understand your pain more than anyone you ever dated or talked to in your life. So, what did this young fuckery of a 17-year old have that I didn’t? Anger erupts as I thought about these things. But, this wasn’t me. Travon doesn’t get mad at someone he cares and loves, but it’s part of being a human being.
I am a good man. I never hurt anyone, attentionally. I work hard for what I do and I try to give my best at what I do. I’m a lover boy. I can’t help that I don’t think like others around my age. I may be too young to settle down, but the heart speak for himself. When I close my eyes every night until the time I wake up in the morning, I see you. When I am going throughout my day, you stay on my mind like a repeated song on a radio station. When I look into your eyes, I see beauty that needs to be appreciated, pain that needs to taken care of, and love that needs to be discovered. Some say I may have butterflies for you, some say I may have a huge crush on you, and some say I may be falling in love with you, but whatever the feeling is, I will be here no matter what. It kills me that a good guy like yourself suffers what you suffer through when dating because of your last relationship. I understand how you feel. May be you don’t need anyone right now, who knows, alongside yourself? But, what guy (such as myself) would still sit here with you after 8 months of talking/slighty dating you to be there for you throughout all of things? Think about it. Most guys would have left you. Most guys would have hurt you. Most guys would have taken advantage of you, but after 8 months, I still standing with you, as a potential lover and as a friens of your heart. And don’t care how long it will take, I am still going to be here for you, even of you tell me “no” or “let’s not speak among each other anymore”. You being in pain so many times makes me want to love you even stronger and powerful than before. Call me crazy but I only have eyes for you. I tried talking to other guys, but when I try to fade away, my heart comes right back to you. I don’t know why the tears are falling down my face right now but I really do care about you. I am practically a single man that currently has my heart for someone I can’t have at this very present moment in time. I just want you to realize that I’m here.
These are my unapologetic feelings of you ….